It has been a good week, although the scale has me the same this week - 175. My goal is 155. I am 20 pounds away and I want to reach 155 by September 1st.
Getting to 155 is likely going to require a little bit of obsession on my part. It's been so lovely to live without focusing on everything little thing I put in my mouth or when I can fit exercise in. I long to live a life that does not revolve around food, calories and exercise. I realize that in order for the scale to move at the speed I long for, I need to be more intentional this summer.
I have been careful this week, not ever over doing it, but indulging at times in moderation. I have found time to run, although not every day. My goal this week is to exercise more, making time for it despite my schedule. I wish this alone could bring the scale down because it's a good place to be in.
I have had excellent conversation with my running partner, who struggles with the all or nothing attitude so many of us struggle with. It's this struggle that keeps many of us in the vicious cycle of overeating, dieting, losing and gaining weight back. My true goal is to beat this cycle. To figure out how to get off that pattern of living, but it's so difficult to articulate and pin point the answer to this common struggle. Perhaps we all have to find that happy place for ourselves? My goal is not to diet or find the perfect healthy foods to eat to get to goal and to maintain weight. My goal is to live free from the rules of food and to break my unhealthy relationship with it. That is the disease. The weight is the symptom! It's so great to have some to dialogue with friends who understand these issues. Most people who have never struggled in this area simply cannot understand.
Eating less, moving more,
Dawne
10 comments:
I'm cheering for you to beat this cycle, Dawne. You articulated the struggle very well. It means something to know somebody else knows.
I understand that longing to just be normal with food--forfood to be a part of living, nothing more.
I, too, am rebelling against the rules. For me, tho, being free from food rules is how I became obese. Didn't follow any rules then, that's for sure.
Now I need to make following healthy rules-->normal living. Then it won't feel like rules at all.
Easier said than done, I think.
Deb
What a great post. I know you will do this. You have before. I hate how food has such a hold on us. I have decided I want to have everyone eat healthier so when I get food this weekend no junk food for anyone in the house.
That's my goal too! I'm in the midst of a new post about it... seems to be something I am struggling to explain.
It is frustrating, isn't it? Like you, I long for the time when every thought isn't about food, calories, exercise or "am I doing well today?" But we all seem to be uncovering those layers little by little and one of these days, we'll get there. I just know it!!
I'm in your cheering section too :)
Lost in the minutia.
Easy to get there... not so easy to get out.
I guess it's true - one day at a time!
I sometimes wonder if that can ever truly happen for an emotional eater.
I feel like I will always have to manage my relationship with food. Maybe not to the point where I think about it each and every day but I think it will always be on my radar screen.
Just when I have thought I have it figured out life sends me for a curve ball and I have to reset!
Oh Dawne...its just amazing how we always seem to be in the same boat. I am also at 175 and long to see the 150's. I am running and running and trying to be thoughtful and in control of what I eat. We will get there girl...
Jennifer
http://wecanlosethepounds.blogspot.com/
Hi Dawne,
I've juste finished reading your entry and was surprised to see the similiraties in our goals. I too want to shed 20 pounds by September (160 to 140), and I am also a teacher. I've just started my own blog at http://marisa-maigrirunefoispourtoute.com It is in French since I'm a francophone. I don't know if you understand french but you are more than welcome to take a look. I wish you great success with your weight loss. Thanks for your blog, I enjoy reading your entries. Marisa ;-)
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