Yr 2, Day 355 - Sometimes I Need to Just Listen

In ten days, I will celebrate two years since I decided it was "my time"to change my lifestyle, with regards to eating and exercise. Little did I realize how much more complex the change needed to be.

I have shared that this part of the road to a healthy, consistent weight has been difficult. I remember the days when I had so much energy and motivation to fight this overwhelming urge/need to overeat, that I felt like I was flying. I remember the days when it felt like eating well and exercise had truly become a lifestyle - it felt natural and did not take too much effort. There were some disappointments, such as a plateau at 167 despite consistent exercise and valiant diet efforts.

I cannot pin point what changed the tide. I've tried to explain it and to understand it. I needed something to change...I was carrying on writing, feeling like I was letting everyone down, especially myself. I needed to listen. To think and listen. Now, it's time to obey.

What did I hear?

Hebrews 12

Discipline in a Long-Distance Race

^1-3Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

^4-11In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don't feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children, and that God regards you as his children?

My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline,
but don't be crushed by it either.
It's the child he loves that he disciplines;
the child he embraces, he also corrects.
God is educating you; that's why you must never drop out. He's treating you as dear children. This trouble you're in isn't punishment; it's training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. It always feels like it's going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

^12-13So don't sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!

^14-17Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you'll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God's generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God's lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God's blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears

I'm not dropping out! I'm still in the race, albeit, larger. I have gained weight in Year 2 and will record my weight Sept. 1, 2011. I will also take my photo in my "before" outfit, if I can squeeze into the pants! I have worn them a bit this summer, but let me tell you, they are tight.

One wonderful thing during this difficult time with overeating is that I have not stopped exercising. I have never gone a week without working out since I began in September 2009.

So, I carry on. I face where I am at weight wise, size wise and I eat like God lead me to eat two years ago. Breakfast - eggs and spinach or a Greek Yogurt/fruit smoothie, Lunch - salad or soup with protein and Dinner - a moderate portion of whatever I am making for my family. I will return to a freedom day each week and a weekly, recorded weigh in.

I started experiencing problems when I veered from the path that I believed was for me. I became entangled with wanting to try different paths to health, believing I should do things differently than how I lost my first 80 pounds. I listened and obeyed on September 1, 2009 and today, I have been silent, listened and choose to eat the way I have been lead.

I am so grateful and excited to be back on track. I am feeling that shot of adrenelin described in the above Scripture passage. Thanks to many of you for your supportive and understanding comments. They have been appreciated more than you know. I am back.

Eating less, moving more,

Dawne