Yr. 3, Day 112 - So, Who's Responsible?

Someone has been praying for me. I am certain of it. You see, a switch has turned on. A switch that no one can explain because it's a switch deep within. It is the switch that has me on and off my game when it comes to eating healthily and moderately. Three years ago, I began a journey from 249 pounds, which I expected to last a year. My goal was to lose 100 pounds in a year. Despite my best efforts, I did not make that goal, but rather lost 84 pounds in the year, eventually losing 91 pounds.

I became engrossed in the various diet trends being discussed on health forums and various blogs. I began to question my "method", which I believe was God's very own personal word to me, and I began to follow rules. Rules that I began my new lifestyle free from. These rules drove me mad and stressed me out. I was unable to live a lifestyle so deeply rule based and maintain it consistently.

Blogging became a chore and as I struggled and saw the scale number move in the wrong direction. My love of running became a hate, as I saw others around me seemingly master speeds I simply could not. I saw it as competition rather than health. Next, my blog gave me serious spam problems,which affected my Gmail account, also affecting my business clientele. That was the last straw and I packed it in - both in blogging, eating and exercise.

Today, December 21, 2011, the switch has turned on. I cannot explain it but I feel a deep, inner peace that I can obey God, eating only when hungry and until full. I believe I can eat in the way that I began eating three years ago, including my free day. I've read so many opinions on the dangers of the free day, but it worked for me.

How ironic that I have got my mojo back just days before Christmas! This year, I am going to enjoy quality, not quantity. I spent the last two Christmas seasons without over indulging, so I commit to making it a third season.

Whomever has been praying for me, thank you. Today, I chose to obey and go back to that original plan from September 2009. I feel so peaceful and like I am in the exact place where I need to be.

Eating less, moving more,
Dawne